Calls like this are all too familiar to intercultural consultants: high pressure to provide a quick fix solution. Airline magazines and bookshops are full of pocket guides to other cultures. It is easy to generalize about other cultures but when it comes to one’s own culture we like to differentiate much more. Often dos and don’ts tell us more about the person who wrote the list than the target culture. Lists of dos and don’ts are like freezing the frame in a film and then using it to try to understand the plot. Even if they are true they don’t take into account the context in which things happen and the motivation of the people involved. They can never be comprehensive and more dangerously they give you a false sense of security.

Behavior is dependent on a complex interplay between the situation, individual personality and culture in all its forms; national culture can be important but sometimes regional, corporate or professional cultures can be more significant. At worst lists of dos and don’ts simply reinforce stereotypes. Stereotypes are fixed images of what a particular type of person or thing is like. The word comes originally from the world of printing: stereo type. Type set in one frame identically reproduced that type in another frame. Of course we need to categorize knowledge in order to make sense of it but the problem with stereotypes is the very fact that they are, by definition, fixed.

A recent study in fact shows how there is little truth in this sort of national stereotyping. An international group at the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) surveyed more than 4,000 adults from 49 cultures. The researchers found that there was no correlation between perceived cultural characteristics and the actual traits rated for real people. Stereotypes about national character seem to be largely cultural constructions, transmitted through the media, education, history, hearsay, and jokes. Researcher Antonio Terracciano commented “People should trust less in their own beliefs about national character. These can be dangerous and the basis for discrimination.”

The best guides to other cultures avoid crude stereotypes and concentrate on factual information; when giving advice they take into account the context in which particular behavior is appropriate. Reading these sorts of books is a starting point but is not a substitute for developing intercultural competence – this involves a life-long process of learning based on experience combined with training and self-reflection.

Perhaps the best piece of advice about finding out about getting on with people from other cultures was given by Adolph Freiherr von Knigge himself in his famous book first published in 1788: “Take an interest in others if you want others to take an interest in you.” This involves being aware of and challenging stereo types and appreciating the complex set of factors which determine how individuals behave.